I can’t wait to see the man boob version.

-Joe Hawtness

Sarah: As a F-cup woman, this isn’t a bad idea actually. You try having a 5 lb. bag of flesh pulling on your neck all night. I don’t think I’ll pay $55 dollars to place a small dildo between my breasts though.

peter Spotted This Public Service Announcement

Check out more from Good Magazine

BigBob: Sex is only the most searched word on the internet because they let 12 year old boys use it. I mean, if you want some good porn, you’ve got to search something exotic… like “shake that bear.”

Search for it…you know you want to.

godspeed Spotted This Video at Daft Punk Alive

I’m ashamed that the only words I ever write on myself are items from my grocery list. I need to get out more.

-Joe Hawtness

Neomusashi: So that’s what the cylons look like underneath.

Video by: panda via Submit Page

Eric Prydz and others can be found at Ministry Of Sound

Cleft: Ah, you just gave yourself away that you’re < 13 y.o. Both the song and the video were quite popular some 6 years ago, but you were probably too young to take notice.

Ha! Shows what you know, I just turned 14!

Joe Hawtness Spotted This Contortionist

Here I sit in my ultra-chic footie pajamas to give you more weird content that I’ve found around the interwebs. I find I make good decisions while wearing footie pajamas.

Flavius Spotted This Insanity

When they are holding hands with the chicken and skipping towards the camera…it almost made me pee from laughter.
-Joe Hawtness

P.S. I promise I didn’t pee.

Hannah Banana: Seriously? I’m a girl and this turns me on a little.
And weirds me out a little. But mostly turns me on.

Thank you for sharing!

Well, maybe I didn’t tell anyone, but I’ve had this ongoing suspicion for quite some time.
-Joe Hawtness

HK416: WHAT SHOW IS THIS????
This is something that even FOX wouldt cancel!

TheAntiCat: FOX cancelled ‘Arrested Development’. Trust me, they would drop girls & guns at some point.

Touche!

This is so incredibly excellent, and it’s nice to know that this club is an equal-opportunity employer.
Also, I’m sure some day soon cyborgs will be commonplace.
Anon Spotted This Robo-Stripper

Anon Spotted This Ball-Handler

Maybe the title was a little harsh… I greatly enjoy potato salad; I suppose it does deserve a dance number.
And, so does tuna salad.

Yours Truly,
Joe Hawtness

Woah!: Holy six-legged wheel of sisterly face-crotch!